Ranking all Friday the 13th Movies from Worst to Best + Why Modern Horror Fans Deserve a New Entry
The Friday the 13th property is one of the most profitable media franchises in the world. At one point it was the highest-grossing horror franchise. This has resulted in multiple films, comics, toys and other merchandise. In honor of a rare October friday the 13th I have decided to rank all films from worst to best and pontificate on why we haven’t gotten a new one.
At this point Jason Vorhees and his hockey mask might be more iconic than the sport of hockey itself. So why is it that we haven’t gotten a new Friday the 13th movie in almost 15 years?
If you look up the timeline of the franchise from 2009–2023 you’ll see copyright disputes, lawsuits, rumors of multiple scripts that went nowhere and even an attempt by Lebron James to attain the rights. I don’t want to talk about any of that. Humans are simple or perhaps capitalism has made us simple. Give the right people the right amount of money and you can make miracles happen. I want to talk about why no one seems to want the miracle to occur. Modern horror fans deserve a new FT13th movie but do we even want one?
Horror films are a reflection of the times. Just look at these three examples: Talk to Me (2023), Scream (1996) and The Exorcist (1973). Talk To Me reflects on modern youth culture and the effects of trauma. Scream is an ironic twist on a horror movie that says caring about things is dumb and adults are stupid while The Exorcist provides commentary on religion. So beneath the gore, what is Friday the 13th’s commentary? The obvious answer is- sex. I mean go through any FT13th movie and you’ll notice that most of Jason’s kills come from hormonal youths. Sometimes the victims are even grown-ass adults. Jason doesn’t spare them either. Almost as if to say- you’re doing bad things anyway you deserve to die. Im sure theres certain people who consider our titular character the good guy. I mean i don’t blame you, theres just something about that hockey mask. Thats just one way to look at it. Everyone will have their own views on the matter. Point is, these films show sex and a lot of it.
And our views on sex has changed drastically over the years. Maybe this is why we cast aside the slasher films of yester-year in favor of phycological offerings. But i refuse to believe there is no room for Jason Vorhees in our modern movie-going culture. Modern horror fans are smart and nuanced people. Modern horror fans deserve a new Friday the 13th film. For now lets sit back and reminisce on all previous installments.
12. Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
• Our first entry in the rankings is notable for being the first Friday film released in the 1990s after New Line Cinema acquired the rights to the franchise and for having fantastical elements influenced by the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. In the beginning we see Jason get gunned down by FBI agents and his corpse transferred to a morgue where he then proceeds to possess the body of several people in search of his half-sister. Oh yeah, Jason spends most of the movie as a demon-slug and theres a magical sword involved somehow. The film ends with Jason being dragged to hell by Freddy Krueger, setting up a sequel that would come a decade later. All of this might sound enjoyable to the average get high-drink 3 beers-watch a bad movie-enjoyer but I cant forgive a Friday film that only gives its titular character 5 minutes of screen time.
11. Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)
• Picture this: its 1982 and your studio exec boss tells you they need a tagline for the 3rd Friday the 13th installment. Its the early 80s so you may or may not be under the influence of a particular white substance when suddenly it hits you- this is the 3rd film so lets make it 3-D! Genius. that is until you realize basically 98% of all 3-D movies are unwatchable. Okay, it does deserve credit for being the first film to feature the iconic hockey mask and for being the first 3D movie to get a wide domestic release in theaters.
10. Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)
• I know i said i cant forgive a film for not featuring the titular character so you may be asking yourself why, a movie that features 0 minutes of Vorhees, is ranked higher than Jason Goes to Hell. Well the answer is simple- this film is fucking insane, and not in the cool Cypress Hill way. Facing pressure from the horror movie hating-Karens of the 1980s, this entry decides to replace gore with commentary on mental health, nudity, sex scenes and depictions of hardcore drug use. (God bless Murica’). Sounds fun right? I mean, we also get a high number of kills. Whats not to like? How about the fact that the killer is literally just a guy. Its like if the Jack in the Box mascot put on a hockey mask and went on a killing spree.
9. Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
• In New Blood we see Jason fight a woman with telekinetic powers. Thats all folks, see you tomorrow. Wait i’m sorry don’t leave i have attachment issues. The screenwriter of this entry, Daryl Haney, might have other issues though. Considering he pitched the concept for this sequel as ‘Jason vs. Carrie’. A brave move if you think about Stephen King’s temperament. Despite the wacky premise not much happens. An undead Jason goes on a killing spree until he is eventually killed(not really). You know, just your average friday.
8. Jason X (2001)
• A pretty forgettable movie despite the premise sees Jason continue his killing spree in space. Some would say Jason Vorhees going to space was always an inevitable outcome for the series. Others might point to the influence kd The Fifth Element and other popular Y2K-esque media of the time. Young me did not care. Watching Jason on a spaceship fight a pretty female android caused feelings in me that Sesame Street simply could not replicate. Its okay, i turned out fine… I think. The ending sees Jason land on a futuristic earth, you guessed it, in a lake beside some frisky teenagers. And thus, we’ve come full circle.
7. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
• I understand this might be a controversial placement in the rankings. For a film titled Takes Manhattan you’d think we’d get more New York screen time. Instead Jason opts to get most of his kills on a boat. Yes, there are a couple of notable fun NY scenes. Particularly the gang meeting Jason and boxing scenes. One could say it deserves credit for its commentary on 1980s gritty New York. But the real reason i placed it here is because this movie has something the others don’t- COLORS! The cinematography of seeing Jason walk down the neon-colored streets of NY is candy for the eyes. This film also features perhaps one of the sweetest and most psychedelic moments in all of horror during the ending. After getting hit by toxic water in the sewers we get a shot of Jason-reverted to his childhood body. Reminding us that our villian was once a helpless and scared child screaming out for his mom.
6. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
• This entry is notable for being the first film to introduce supernatural elements to the franchise. This and the fact that the would-be-victims now include children, do add a certain tension to the kill scenes. Not enough to rank it higher on the list.
5. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
• The second film in the franchise replaces Mama Vorhees for her forest-dwelling son. And i say replace because this entry truly is a rehashing of the first film. Jason still hasn’t equipped himself with the iconic hockey mask, instead he opts to perform the routine kills while wearing a bag over his head. Hey dont laugh at him, hes trying his best!
4. Friday the 13th (2009)
• This 2009 reimagining fails to bring new elements to the franchise. There are some nice kills but thats about it. It cheats its way into the Top 4 by simply being a product of modern filmmaking. It was never going to be horrible, these days studios are too self aware for that. But its not good either. Critics rightly panned the decision to make Jason the main antagonist right from the start, without giving Mama Vorhees her own entry.
3. Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
• Freddy vs. Jason holds a special in my heart. I remember being a kid at my grandmother’s house and looking through my fingers while my cousin watched this film in the living room. Considering this movie is basically Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock at Wrestlemania, its funny i was so scared. There are some unique kills but the standout scene is the two horror icons facing off in a Villain Duel. If i weren’t such a lazy writer i could argue Freddy Krueger is the only villain of this film considering he manipulates and uses Jason into killing people simply to induce fear in the heart of the townsfolk. Call it my #TeamJason bias. But then again, Jason does kill a lot of people. The cast is noteworthy for having Kelly Rowland and seeing Robert Englund as Freddy is always a fun treat.
2. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
• The two main components of any good slasher are: the killer and the victims. And in this entry we get the best portrayals of both components. Tom Savini (makeup artist on the original film) returns to delight us with some sick gore effects. And our group of would-be-victims are so enjoyable you almost don’t want to see them get murdered by Jason. Almost.
1. Friday the 13th (1980)
• Ah yes, the one that started it all. Controversial at the time for its depictions of gore and violence, Friday the 13th sees Mama Vorhees take revenge on some hormonal teens for the death of her son years prior. Featuring some outstanding cinematography, bloody kills, an iconic ending and commentary on 1970s youth culture- its easy to see why this film is so revered by horror fans. Panned by critics but loved by moviegoers, at the time attending a screening almost served as an act of rebellion.
